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That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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