My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
