i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
