Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
