So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
