he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
