I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
