I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
