watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
