I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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