Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
