I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dear god my vagina.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize