I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize