This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize