does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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