nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
