I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
