omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
