im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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