I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
