my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
