dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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