i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize