AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
