the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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