how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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