we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
