i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
she peed on how many people?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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