My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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