i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize