so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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