would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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