He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Yo dont text me then not text me
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
