Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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