I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
there is glitter all over my balls
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize