is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
