I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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