I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize