You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
