So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i dont even know how to be here
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
