spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I have fence marks all over my body
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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