How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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