I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
