dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize