wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
