idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
