how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
