i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I think I just sharted jello shots
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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