my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
