You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
