Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just tell him i said nine months
People with herpes should wear stickers.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
