plz talk dirty to me
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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