you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
