Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
