I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize