we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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