dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
