alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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