do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
